#5 A Guide to Brain Injury

this Tim, the priest I got you for your funeral was arrested and charged for child fiddling…’ There was an article in the newspaper. I came out of my trance. Finally. After that I resolved to laugh good and hard every chance I got.

He died on Father’s Day, so we put all his presents in with him. I let them touch him, do what they wanted, I didn’t want them traumatized, after all it was their father. As if. The guests must have elected Brenda, she came to talk to me, ‘…the guests are being traumatized by what the kids are doing to their father…’ I called the kids over and told them to stop touching their father as it was messing him up. I couldn’t wait for those people to go home, and never see them again. I’m too needy now.

I got in trouble in Indiana once. My sister and I went to pick up her dead husband as he had committed suicide. She was traumatized and the people there were only pretending to be her friends. They circled like bullies do, waiting for someone to strike. Who knows what they had planned. I stood up to the wild sister; I went toe to toe with the nasty best friend, and I stuck up for my sister who normally was strong, but was weak only at the time. They were alcoholics, so went to a bar the night before, and with liquid courage, they asked very, very nicely if she would join them. I was afraid of them being all together, but I would stick with my sister. Luckily my sister is smart. We put Tommy in a Superman backpack and got the ‘hell outta Dodge’ fast. They called us. They chased us. We left them alone to go to the funeral hungover, and without a body. That was the; this is now. I wouldn’t dare try that now; too complex.

I lie now. I lie to avoid an argument. I lie to avoid an explanation. I lie to get more. I lie to get information. I lie to look stronger. I lie to look weaker. I lie when I am not sure and I’m a faker too. I lie because I am vulnerable. It’s learned behavior.

I live with people who bite.

Now, I live for today. I worry about it all day. Tomorrow’s problems are tomorrow’s problems. I force myself to sleep and I take a pill. I’m zen like that.

I used to bike, hike, kayak and I’m a Black Belt. I used to dance. I want to again. I will. Because I lived.

L. Sherry