#27 Adult Diapers are Expensive

bugging her about the cat. He said she would have to get rid of it. He said he would come in, take it, and euthanize it. She was distraught; she loved that cat. Turns out, he was in the wrong about the cat, and the rent too. The community told her so. A precedent had been set when he hadn’t said anything about Thomas living there, and other people had pets too. He threatened to make it a ‘no pets’ building, then they all have to get rid of their pets, and now they will be sorry they stuck up for her. Turns out, he was wrong about that too. He couldn’t just change the rules in the middle of the game. They stuck together, and he was mad. ‘Tough.’

Sophia couldn’t do anything for herself. China learned to make her a meal before she left for work, then changed her sheets when she got home. She got up early, took her to the bathroom, washed her up, then changed the sheets again, but sometimes Sophia didn’t make it through the day. In that case Sophia just went on the side, and China apologized. China got to work as soon as she got home. She took her to the bathroom, changed the sheets, and started supper. On days she didn’t go to work, she kept her company. On Sundays, China dressed Sophia in good clothes, but Sophia wouldn’t go to church. She said it was devil-worship. When she got home, Sophia lamented that her daughter was going to go to hell, so China stopped going to the Anglican church. China knew they were not devil-worshipers; they were just a different religion than her mother, and she didn’t want to upset her, so she stopped going.

China took Sophia to the bathroom in a wheelchair, but she had to lift her out of the bed to put her in it. Then she had to lift her out of the chair and onto the toilet. Wiping her was awkward. Then she had to do everything in reverse. It was easier to change a diaper, and Sophia was ok with that, and she ok with staying in bed all day. The adult diapers were expensive, but China was getting less reliable; Sophia was getting bigger. Sophia was not paralyzed, she was weak, but the cancer didn’t affect her appetite. She loved to eat, and she loved meat too. China just fed her Dan’s diet, but it was expensive. She was used to that. Sophia was dying but China enjoyed her while she had her.

China found out she had siblings. One brother lived with his wife in California, two brothers lived together in Florida, and the sisters didn’t want anything to do with her. None of them wanted to help with Sophia; they said she was of no use to them. Other than that, they supported each other by calling or cards. They sent pictures of themselves as they are now, and didn’t talk about the past, or the sisters. They said she looked like her mother. Sometimes they visited, but really, they carried on their relationship through the phone. Not one of them ever called Sophia, and Sophia didn’t call them. China had pictures, in frames, all over the place. People said the boys looked like her, but really, they all looked like the mother. She didn’t put any pictures of the girls up, nor talk about them either. She judged them for not helping with the mother. The mother judged them all, even China.

China stopped going out to the community barbecues. People thought it was because of the winter, but really, it was her mother. She didn’t want China to leave her alone; she cried, so China stayed with her, and she stopped. All throughout the winter, China gave Sophia pain killers; as much as she asked for, because the doctor said so. Sophia started to look bad. The cancer was getting worse. China didn’t even recognize her anymore.