#16 China Cat (Bag of Hammers)

the house, he got up and pointed. He preferred she didn’t go snooping around. For some reason, he didn’t like pork, so she substituted lamb for pork. She found out he didn’t eat pork when he threw a bowl of popcorn at her. They were on the couch, she had just done the dishes, and sat down beside him with that bowl of popcorn. It was precisely seven that she woke him. It was earlier on, so he was still talking to her, and she asked him if he liked the supper. She thought he was going to offer praise, but when he found out he had eaten pork, he flipped out. Actually, what he hadn’t found out, was that he had eaten pork several times before, and loved it. He wouldn’t let her call the order in anymore, and he told her to substitute lamb for pork.

The bowl was plastic, so it didn’t really hurt, but it made a big mess. There was popcorn everywhere, and grease marks too. What really hurt was what he said. He said she was trying to trick him, and that she was a devious Squaw, and he referred to her skin colour. He said she was stupid, and dirty. He said, if she ever had a baby, it would be ugly like her. She, like him, didn’t think she could get pregnant, but she could, and she did, later. That night, she had to pick up every piece of popcorn by hand. He wouldn’t let her take the vacuum out. It would make too much noise. China, bent over, and wiped at the grease with paper towels wet with Dawn dish soap. He kicked her. She wasn’t surprised. Next time, she would be more careful.

China really enjoyed being pregnant, but she hated the weekends. He went to work every week day, worked outside all day Saturday, and went to church until 12 on Sundays. The rest of the day on Sundays, he watched football, drank and dozed. She saved some of the housework for Saturdays but he thought she did all the weeding on Saturdays. That way she got to enjoy the garden on the weekend too. She was expected to sit next to him whenever he laid on the couch, and never mind that there was no room for her, it was boring. They got up for supper, he insisted on roast beef, but they were right back on the couch after, or he was anyway. He wouldn’t eat leftovers, so she had to portion perfectly, and if she miscalculated, she took it out of her portion. China had everything timed. She cleaned the kitchen, and woke him with popcorn and tea at 7, and they watched tv until 11, only he stopped crawling on top of her when her belly started to swell.

Dan gave her a bunch of his clothes to accommodate her growing belly, and bought himself new ones. They were getting too small for him anyway. At first, she was proud, and adjusted them to show off her big belly, but then he told her to hide it, so she wore them loose to conceal her bloated gut. He told her that her distended midriff was a turn-off. China couldn’t help it though; her belly kept growing, and she didn’t know when it would stop. She knew from tv that it would somehow end with her happy in a hospital and bringing a baby home with her. She just didn’t know how it was going to get out.

The baby started to kick while she was meditating. At first, it felt like butterflies, but later, it felt like a bag of hammers trying to get out. She thought it was cramped for space, bored, and trying to kick it’s way out. She didn’t even know for sure how it got there. She figured it had something to do with him crawling on top of her, sticking it in, then pushing until he came inside, but Carin and Colleen never had a baby. Maybe it had more to do with him being a man, and them both wanting it. China knew Dan did. He brought something home for the baby every day. Before too long, they had a room ready, and most of it was blue. She had a feeling it was going to be a boy, but she would be happy with either, and so would he, after he met it. She would love it, and be loved back. She wanted to know what that felt like. He brought home a pamphlet on